Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Charice to join GLEE.


HOLY SWEET SAUSAGES McMUFFINS I still can't believe it.

YouTube international singing sensation Charice who used to look like an exteriorized Pikachu incarnate in human form is now joining GLEE for the show's next season. And my, she's GORGEOUS!

I am not a big fan of Charice but lately I have been so moved and blown away with her achievements topping another achievement that sometimes I could might as well call her that - an achievement herself. After all, she is, indeed, an achievement, a prized possession, and a where-in-this-world-could-a-luck-like-that-possibly-ever-come-from historical success. For the Philippines, that is.

From Inquirer.net by Pocholo Concepcion.

"MANILA, Philippines--The Philippines' pride, international pop star CharicePempengco, will soon join the cast of the award-winning American musical comedy-drama TV series "Glee."

In a TV interview at her Glorietta show on May 23, Pempengco herself hinted at "a surprise" that will surely make her fans happy. "Basta in na in posiyangayon," she said.

The quote set off the Internet abuzz with rumors, which zeroed in on the possibility of Pempengco appearing on "Glee" because the show's theme and the cast's age group fits her.

"Yes, it's true, Charice will soon join "Glee," her Philippine manager, Grace Mendoza, confirmed to the Inquirer. "And not just as a guest, but as part of the cast in a new season."

The popular TV show won the 2010 Golden Globe Award for Best Television Series Musical or Comedy.

Pempengco's joining the "Glee" cast comes on the heels of her most recent triumph as the first Asian to break into the Top 10 of the Billboard album chart. Her self-titled US CD has debuted at No. 8 in its first week of release, selling 43,000 copies in America alone.

The album is at No. 4 in the Canadian music chart.

UPDATE: Unfortunately, this has not yet been confirmed. Her Philippine manager, Grace Mendoza, was probably on narcotics when she confirmed the rumor. Ughck, bad. Let's just hope that she still gets in! Or at least Nikki Gil!!!

Sex & the City 2: New York Movie Premiere

So what do we all expect from a movie starred by 40-something women who are more likely rooted to fashion that in actually putting some good piece of acting prowess into film?

Dresses! Shoes! Handbags! Designers! Botox-dependent women! Sarah Jessica Parker looking like a secret love-child of a paint spill and an orange colored self-tan spray-on!

I told you. Albeit I do not find anything extra-special with this dress, sometimes - less is really MORE and SJP has twerked it all her way with this well-played ensemble that caught the sights of non-television viewing bystanders who happen to have found a nice decent spot around the corner.

And let me never forget that once upon a time in terribly flaming weather, the first installment has totally encouraged me to get my ass off a lazyboy couch and queue-in in a chaotic heat-stricken enrollment day just because I felt like walking around as I imagined myself in the streets of New York.

Also spotted were Jennifer Love Hewitt, Jessica Szchor, and other cast of the sequel. The outifts were very-classy, and there were basically no other atendees who crossed the "I'm sane, let me in" borderline and went all out with a crazy get-up. That's a whole lot of good lovin' coming from mid-aged women (Sarah Jessica Parker) who usually wore electrifying (read: INYOURFACE ELECTRIFYING) dresses with a big intricate mash of headband falling off her head and some giant shoulder pads thrown at her chest like she's not ever gonna get taunted by the public. UGHCK. Sometimes we shall all learn how to thank historical circumstances when SJP is on a lay-low mood and is not feeling like she's an 18-year old debutant who throws tanturms on anything that's not brightly colored. So for this one, I LOVE IT! All in all, I love the dresses, especially that of the four main stars who lead the cast of the movie. . .

Until all of the sudden you see Gabourey Sidibe. . .

Wearing a black long-sleeved dress that must have probably been borrowed from their neighborhood's law firm secretary.

Saturday, May 22, 2010

Tomasz Pastyrczak for NEWS Magazine

Seriously. I just felt the urge of literally crashing my hands against this monitor and wish I could grab some piece of clothing from these pictures. Ugh.

I have a long-sleeved shirt which is very, very similar to that of Tomasz. SO I am most likely to boot for his SHOES! I LOVE IT! Very cowboy-ish. I love how ROUGH it looks like.

Shot by photographer Norbert Kniat and styled by Martina Rogy, this catalogue of pictures offers an all-embracing assortment of tastes; from the "almost forbidden" fashion taboo of denim-to-denim to the inventive mix of tamed and striking colors to the simple frame of dandy.

Very, very DELICIOUS.

(Photo credits go to WienerModels. Click here for more pictures.)

In college, we wear uniform

Did it ever, in your entire years of mortal existence, occur to you that apart from the exclusive upper-crust universities in the United States of America, STILL stand a conglomeration of college institutions that habilitate your four year academic survival with a SCHOOL UNIFORM? (?????)

Because in the seven thousand something islands of the Philippines, in a faaaaar far away land called Davao, a standard school regalia of white terno for women and blue shirt / khaki pants are being constrained.

I wish the college superiors, for the love and joy and betterment of everyone, allow no dress code whatsoever this coming semester.

...and then again I was reminded our school is run by priests. AMEN.


Thursday, May 20, 2010

Lee DeWyze singing Hallelujah on American Idol Top 3

By heavens above, I swear I could hear the angels sing!

And I can badly hear my friend Russell Lelis screaming on a high esplanade like she's only a hundred and five steps away from a Mrs. Russell L. DeWyze marriage certificate! Achieve!

Bravura, bravura! I am soooo gonna bid my entire closet on Lee! He has to win! People (Russell) are so gonna hammer down your pelvic bone if Lee goes anywhere between a runner up and uhh, loser. The last time Lee's fans (Russell) got frustrated on something, they tore down the rotten flesh of a 2 week old human relic and breached out it's jaw and made a headband out of it.

I warned you. Some people are merciless. Lee has to win.

Wednesday, May 19, 2010

Today, I stopped taking antidepressants

I am totally out of words right now. Swear. Give me a second before I start talking.


NOW FIRST OFF, please forgive me for relentlessly flooding my blog with video posts, Cable television companies in third world wilderness have decided to keep playing re-runs that sometimes I just feel like pulling out my eyeballs from their sockets and send them off to Universal Studios. SECOND, I KNOW - some computers don't recognize embedded objects because of PRIMITIVE software, BUT BELIEVE ME, it's either you are watching this video with me or you are losing ten times the fun that a hundred and fifty sniffs of dope can never equal. Okay, so here's the EPIC:


At some point while watching this video I felt tears in my eyes. His screen name is PhatGayKiD, he's on YouTube and he totally thinks he's famous. I do not have any idea whatsoever if he's under serious professional treatment or if he has medical prescriptions similar to that of Chris Crocker but my conclusive assertion on this one is that the U.S. Government shall definitely start working on the implementation of their drug-related programs - URGENT. . .THERE ARE PEOPLE WHO ARE IN DIRE NEED OF HELP. And before you start thinking that THIS could just be some sort of a hoodwink, here's another:

I'm scared. I am not yet very certain if I shall consider this as a vehement reminder of an impending WORLD ANNIHILATION but it's better to be safe this early than to regret soon after. I'm taking this very seriously.

I'm really scared.

Greyson Chance is Trending!

Lovely pizza grandmother! This sixth grader right here is some serious article of singing potential! Have you ever heard of him, like, seriously? The Ellen DeGeneres Show? Because he's been making big waves all over twitter and he's such a sweet piece of innocence! You gotta love him!

Err, a couple of flats, sharps, some long and steady bad falsetto which irked my eardrums to bleed but. . .who am I to judge? I ain't no voice teacher myself so I guess I'll sit down and appreciate. I love this kid! Very confident. He has to get a record deal URGENT! In fact, news ticked my ear that Queen Madge's and GaGa's handlers are talking. Woo, guess some new meat is fitting in. He could possibly be the next Justin Bieber!...or...OMG...Lady GaGa!!!

Tuesday, May 18, 2010

The Pretty Reckless: Taylor Momsen with Make Me Wanna Die

OMG! OMG! Did Little Taylor Momsen Mistress of the Dark finally clinched the deal and sold half herself to the DIABOLICAL SUPERPOWERS of the smokey eye make up?!?!?! And do you think that in her 16 years of existence she has yet to discover the use of hair brush????

You gotta see the video! She looks ten times more of the barbaric person that she is and her eyes look like miniature septic tanks! Ferocious! CHECK! CHECK!

Now if only Little J has sorted out her options and chose to cling to a better manager, this song is sooo gonna be heard by millions. Surprisingly, she sounds good. What is much more surprising is, ohyourgosh, she has a song! Go Taylah!

Blake Lively for VOGUE June 2010 issue

VOGUE USA has teamed up AGAIN with Gossip Girl star Blake Lively to shoot a reviving compilation of carefree and lighthearted pictures - just in time for the up and coming entrance of the American summer. Unlike her debut cover for Vogue, her June issue is much MUCH more relaxed and has veritably passed through the overworked supermodel pose.

Now forgive me for playing a suspicious cat but. . .did they try to pull a take-off of Charlie's Angels Full Throttle: The Beach Scene when they decided to shoot Blake for Vogue the second time around? And do you think that Blake Lively really needs to start opening her mouth when she's talking looks like a Cameron Diaz 2010 mimeograph or was it just me?

Well, close mouthed open mouthed, fact remains that Blake Lively is now a Hollywood favorite, and Mischa Barton could never get more intimidated with this. And as much as I used to sink head over heels over Cameron Diaz's megawatt smile, we sometimes need an a younger meat devoid of the burgeon of the wrinkly crow's feet ughck for the viewer's sake (may the heavens above bless the invention of Botox).

Photographer Mario Testino together with world-renowned surfer Rob Machado and writer Hamish Bowles have all gone Dutch and grand in participation. Apart from my useless ramblings, I am definitely catching some satisfactory viewing of these pictures. This photoshoot's surfer sexy, I shall better get myself a copy!

Monday, May 17, 2010

Look who made it to the frontpage!

Man, you said it! All them cover girls for this month's release are dope hot! The Kardashian sisters are smoking HOT, steaming HOT, broiling HOT - for VEGAS cover!

And Khloe Kardashian sputtered tons of her weight! Can't you see that she now has arms connected to her shoulders instead of THIGHS?? Don't you remember that not too long ago she looked like a worn-out shemale laborer for a large item shipping company??

It's MIRACULOUS!!! She's beautiful! I super duper love you Khloe K! Kiss me in my dreams and bump me with your monster bottoms!


OKAY, so here in the third world area we also happen to have magazines (believe it or not). And for this month, Sarah Geronimo graced the cover of a fashion publication. . . (SILENCE)

Sarah Geronimo graced a cover of a fashion magazine. . . (MORE SILENCE). . .

. . . Sarah Geronimo GRACED A COVER OF A FASHION MAGAZINE!!! (Defeaning SILENCE)

Okay get over it. Well I am not to conceal any of my STEAMING ADORATION for HER because I don't mind getting vocal about it. I don't mind what people think either.

Sarah Geronimo in MEGA magazine's May 2010 issue, in my opinion, is enchantingly gorgeous and dons a superbly classic look to fit the high-class taste of society's cognosenti. Picture's glam, subtle fierce; her face is immaculately delicate, and don't you see that she is now TEN shades whiter compared to her normal skin tone?? She's STUNNING, ADMIT IT! And believe me people, Manila-based stylists are now learning to rip off that JOLOGS image out of their clients. Sarah Geronimo used to look like a Disney Hannah Montana knock-off but look at her now. Would you not love this look??


So baaaack to first world Hollywood where magazine frontpages are being lorded over by "wholesome" Disney rollers. Billboard released their May issue for their print and look who's the ex-mousketeer EMBLAZONED ALL OVER the front page:

It's FLOPTINA AGUILERA!!! On a BILLBOARD mag!! And guess what?? She just dropped tenths of places down her debut spot!! Can you believe it?? bIRONIC! BooHoo!

Now apart from her silver foil wrap of a leotard looking pair of boots, her hair is reminiscent of Queen Madge's 1970s 'do, which, as I see it, shall definitely get torned out of her image. Get a stylist who's not a fan of Lady GaGa and stop calling people newcomers, you former newcomer!

On a rather personal note, I have a VERY SINCERE letter:

Dearest XTINA,

I am supposed to love you and honestly, I USED TO. I AM SINCERELY TELLING THE TRUTH when I said that I used to LOVE you and that it WASN'T JUST BRITNEY, except that you are not Christina Aguilera anymore.

You now look like a cross-breed of Madonna, Lady GaGa, disco music, and some take home road whore who happen to share a make-up kit with Taylor Momsen. I don't like it. Perez Hilton is equally as furious about it. I was just thinking if maybe you could get back to your
I Turn To You image and I guess from there we could all start turning back to you, too.


As of this writing, I am desperately in need of sleep. I am starting to look like a disheveled Helena Bonham Carter and it's not funny. I inhaled three mugs of coffee earlier - effortless - though it never really helped. I should know. Duh it's coffee not milk. Now let me get some all out rest and Imma have ta crack sum bone for an acrobatic pose on my own magazine shoot. Ha! Tata!

Thursday, May 13, 2010

Charice nailed Baby cover; Pyramid debuts on Oprah


Tila Tequila, you must be really proud they call you her long lost sistah!

Filipino wonder kiddo Charice Pempengco wowed celebrity blogger Perez Hilton with her Baby rendition. No sweat.

And she's learning how to rap, too! Heard that? Ha!

I am so proud of her. But I swear I am sooo giving major thanks to her stylist! She autoMAGICALLY brought out her inner international DIVA, has she ever got a clue?! Just a little boost of front and some badonkadonkdonk and hella gewd she could pull off a Beyonce just like that! Watch out!

Meanwhile, here's a video of her appearance in Oprah for her Pyramid album release. Phenomenal!



Tuesday, May 11, 2010

Work It, I'm a Freak Bitch, Baby!

Since the politicians and half the entire population of our country have seemed to roll themselves altogether into one gigantic screwball of election scruffle, I decided I must rather course upon another favored topic so as not to add further cat fit into this giant political horseplay.

Look what I have found:

Lady GaGa T-Shirts!!! COVET!!! ACHIEVE!!! Don't you think this perfectly balances all the stressful vibes that the elections have brought to this country?? ILOVEIT!!!

PAGING ALL THE NEWLY BRED POLITICIANS OF THE PHILIPPINES: I believe you have all been directed to be informed that clothing - alongside food, shelter, and freedom - is a considerable and much critical form of a distinguished necessity. Failure to accede and comply by this assertion, as well as the abortion of the proposed mass distribution of useful clothing, will result to a dire manifestation of forsaking the needs of the nation and the humankind in general. Let it be extended to you, our leaders, that I, in behalf of all my fellow countrymen, demand a full reimbursement of $19 per shirt or we shall all summon to encourage a revolt against your present administration. Thankyouverymuch.

(VISIT THEIR STORE: Break The Labels on eBay)

Meanwhile, here's another refreshing NECESSITY to watch out for. Look what Uncle Karl has engineered - a short film!

Chanel Cruise 2011: Remember Now by Karl Lagerfeld. Talk about multiple roles.

Aquino elected Philippine President; Binay as VP

At least we do not have ex-President / ex-con Joseph "ERAP" Estrada as Philippine President.

I am not, in any way, displeased nor dismayed by Noynoy's impending political victory. COMELEC has yet to confirm the final tally of the 2010 elections but who really needs a confirmation? By more than 4,000,000 votes ahead of Estrada, we know that Benigno "Noynoy" Aquino III is now the new President of our country.

We may have a lot of contrasting differences in terms of preference; your presidential bet might not be the same as mine, but at the end of the day, the elected one will be OUR President - just the same as yours and mine. Let us just all arrive at peace in accepting the fact that a majority of the Philippine mob has disposed to jot down a vote for the only son of our Philippine heroes. Some may not be in favor of it, but just learn how to stock it in and get it over with. It's already there. All we can possibly do now is pray ensuing with trust that our new elected leader will serve a great purpose for our country. Now may God bless him.

With ex-Makati mayor Jejomar Binay acting as VP to Aquino, we now know that he indeed stood as the DARK HORSE of the 2010 elections. With that, too, we also know that we have elected our first black Vice-President of the Philippines EVER. But unlike Obama's ascent to the higher political seat, I believe this has got no promise of change.

Do I like Binay? NO. Why? Just because. Is it because my bet didn't make it to the position when he was already in a fucked up spitting distance from Binay's election returns??? YES!!!!!!!!!

Now, excuse my distorted sway for the elected VP mortal because SERIOUSLY I am just sooooooooo disappointed that Mar Rixas didn't roll in as the winner of his race. I guess just like what I said with Aquino's, I must learn how to get it over with. UGH.

Okay so the long dragging question now is: Who will be acting as Noynoy's first lady? His girlfriend, who is also inclined to politics and is seated as a political leader in a small province? Or, OHMYGOSH-HEREITCOMES, Kris Aquino??????

And BOY ABUNDA as presidential spokesperson?!?! Alongside. . .wait. .OMG!!!!, Jobert Sucaldito???!! Through The Buzz?!?!?!?!?!?!

(Photo credit for Election results: ANCALERTS via Twitter)

Monday, May 10, 2010

A Compilation of Monday WTFs

Now I am betting my white ass on this credit that most of you my readers have already grown accustomed with my cut-and-dried tactics of complaining about almost everything - hot weather, wtf-are-you-serious outfits, hot weather, crazy celebrities, hot weather, etcetera etcetera. Well aside from the parching HOT WEATHER (which I decided to endure as long as I'm bogged down on this tropical dwelling) I realized more respectable arguments than a steady country steam. For example: Today, I dozed off the entire afternoon. So no Gossip Girl marathon for me there. That should really be something.

Okay fine, I kid. This has got something to do with PI politics, and I KNOW, with this much conundrum taking place in our country and a thousand count of blogsites dashing off their respective viewpoints on how important yet mismanaged this election is, this could probably be the nth time around that you have read something in this same acumen. On twitter, the #halalan trend made an effortless shoo away on Justin Bieber's name.

First of all, I have a couple of screaming qualms to share. Jejomar Binay, a vice presidential candidate who failed to win my liking (not like he would EVER care, I mean, do most politicians ever care?), has surged up his ranking to number one. Second, in a lesser contrast yet a very alarming one, ex-President Joseph "ERAP" Estrada has landed on number two. And this is for the presidential race.

Now the first one, that of Binay's, admittedly is on a biased note. I'm all for his opponent, Mar Roxas, so on this part right here you could scratch that off your head and wish this country would not end with a flying fuck of a corrupt political douchebag. But the latter, Erap Estrada landing a number two spot. . . presidential race. . .WHAT ON MOTHER EARTH IS HAPPENING TO THE MILLIONS OF VOTING PEOPLE NOW?!?!

Okay let me NOT lose my cool on this but seriously, when will we, our country, ever learn? We have gone through hell way back in his administration, and we have berthed in the arms of a self-righteous political bitch after his descend, and now we are voting him back to lead our country?? Shall I now assume that majority of us are actually pulled by heart just by having an ex-politician, who shove money from our own hands, front one of his winning dramatic excuses?! I know I shall not be much agitated by this knowing that HE WILL NOT (and CANNOT), matter-of-factly speaking, win this elections BUT taking into consideration that the counting is still being processed by comelec and is NOT YET FINAL, BY HEAVENS ABOVE, the old man has got a chance! UGH.

Now for the moment let me just say my prayers as I plan to throw myself in a hot tub of water hoping that by the time I wake up, they will announce the name of SOME OTHER PRESIDENTIAL CANDIDATE. Thankyouverymuch!


On a faaaaaaaaar more interesting note, I have found this somewhere over the Internet:

One of the promotional pictures for Charice Pempengco's new album. It looks like a concert ticket! Don't you think the Philippines shall thank whoever her stylist is??? I love it!

AND! Can you believe this?? Jejemon Trailer for The Jejemon Movie! HAHAHA. I told you, this is a MAJOR concern which clamor for political support and guidance! Some things must be really scarier than 2012.


Saturday, May 8, 2010

Official Music Video of Can't Be Tamed - Miley Cyrus

Mmkay, so what we've got here is a Britney Spears version 2.0 with longer locks of auburn curls, ridiculously giant wings, and well, a better singing voice for a caged crow(?) . . . wait, OMG she's a caged crow???? I'm a slave much??? Miley the new Britney Spears under-study???

Okay, serious. Too young for sexy? Well yes, I guess. But if little 14 year-old dumplings in the Philippines are already parading their skin and flashing do-it-yourself cleavages, then what difference does it make for American girls? You guess - A LOT (you heard of the Vanessa Hudgens story, don't pretend). Albeit I remain sturdy with my opinion that it must have been a greater idea had they considered making Miley a gold fish instead. She looks perfect for the part. You know what I mean. LOL.

Now surprisingly, I love the video. Why? Because I'm a die-hard fan with a mind impervious to reason, ha!, although I completely understand that this is a fair manifestation of a baby prostitute, as long as Miley never gets dubbed of a living blow up doll, I'd still be fine.

My, I'm such a fan. (insert rolling eyes icon here and place four fingers down my throat) Haha, boo.

Seriously, an Electronic Cigarette?

For four years now since I was fifteen, I have been compulsively smoking snuffs and shags out of each and every cigarette that touches my hands, and so far, I haven't been really so proud of it.

First off, I get easily discomposed whenever the urge starts to travel up my mouth and compels me to have something pinned between my lips, which gets really annoying. And usually at night, just in time for my most superstitious psyche of the day, I would find myself standing broomstick straight outside of our house as I puff the dark hours away under a creepy and spine-chilling pitch dark.

Well so much about my lengthy roots. What really brought me up to make this post was that earlier this morning just right after I accidentally spoiled coffee all over the daily paper, I caught an article of e-Cigarettes in it. Okay, quick recall one month ago: my friend Rush Lelis was itching for another prized bargain which blew the hell out of her smoking lungs because cigarettes now come with a charger. NOW SRSLY NEWSPAPER ARTICLE FOR A CIGARETTE? HAS BATTERIES? And it's ELECTRONIC??

Mmkay, so at first glance it looked like some dismantled Parker pen although I was quite enchanted with the fact that it is indeed electronic and it comes in pink, too, not just some phony bogus like pictures of beer powder and Marlboro dope spreading all over the internet. And right there and then I thought if maybe it could also be possible to have electronic food?

ANYWAY, beyond question, this has certainly surged up rockets in the manner of smoking, and I heard they have now conceptualized new product versions that do not emit unpleasant tobacco odor, so I guess that equals the feeling of having a thorn pulled out from my back since I wouldn't have to stand creepy nights outside of our house anymore. LOL.

The e-Cigarette is a battery-powered device that provides vaporized nicotine solution which you could inhale. They also have flavors, too - menthol, vanilla, caramel, and even coffee. As how I would interpret, I guess the e-Cigarette would give the same purported delivery of smoke just like the Shisha which also requires to be refilled after the oil/solution has dissipated.

Well, I am not yet decided on how I would place my take on this one, but I guess for now I would already be at my happiest with a pack of standard cigarettes. After all, four years of a love-hate relationship with my cigars is more than enough, not that I'm not putting limitations, to set good foundation for a longer-lasting friendship. ;)

Thursday, May 6, 2010

Sometimes, we ask ourselves...



The never-ending question - WHY?

In life, young or old, we never run out of questions.

Unarguably, there are a multifold of queries which we sometimes find very confounding as we try to reveal the answers before us. We would even perpetually surmise for enlightenment as we try to untangle the mysteries, the questions, and the obscurity of life's hidden messages that perplex not only our thinking, but also, our entire being.

Right now, there are so many questions that run in my head, in my heart, and in general, in my life. Which is why I am brought to make this blog post right now - for me to be able to unlock the mysteries behind the following shoe pieces that made me want to throw myself into a tub of hot, boiling water. YES. You heard me. SHOES. I am actually talking about SHOES.

First of all, WHY? Why are there existent shoe pieces like these? Why could they be so serious about it? Do some people plan to become animals instead of humans? Is this some sort of a fashionable way to commit suicide? Are these shoes even legal??? And do you, readers, think that Daphne Guinness is behind the conspiracy of this all??? Is this a scheme by the ILLUMINATI secret society of Satan to destroy Lady GaGa and make her trip and fall in one of her concerts because she is now officially out of the group?????? IS LADY GAGA GONNA DIE?!?!?!?!!?!

Now, these are my insights. On a rather serious note, I would like to cry. Not that I'm emotional because I have finally found the pictures for a soon-to-be endorsed Lady GaGa brochure, but because I would like to weep in behalf of those women who wore these shoes. Chances are, they died, they were bedridden for months due to multiple bone injuries, or possibly that they are now living in peace but once upon a time in their lives they have been arrested for some serious crime offense of NOT ABIDING BY THE RULES OF LAW.

So now let me first blast off to space as I try to decipher, contemplate, and discern about the other why's, what's, and what-the-hell's in my life. Like if I really do have to take a shower the next morning or what. So BYE!

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