Wednesday, March 31, 2010

Crazy Makeovers 101

Again, because I am such a big fan of nosing around fan-made celebrity pages and I love seeing surprises, although not technically always, I have found this:

Christina Aguilera's new album cover. Who thought she would still rise back from the ashes of post-partum weight gain? It is rarely witnessed upon celebrities today, although there are really hardworking ones who bounce back to their old shape.

As to this cover, well, we now have another original who embraced the discipline of lunacy and has again become another Lady GaGa protégé. I don't know if this is really the case in point but I think celebrities were so overwhelmed with the whole outrageously erratic Lady GaGa concept, they really think they could be another Stefani Germanotta in the making. Huuuuh, crazy. Facing this picture, the left part of the face is flawless and as usual Christina Aguilera's eyebrows are missing.


ANYHOODLE, does anyone of you still remember Heidi Montag? Reality starlet from The Hills? The blonde robotic tart who loves ditching all her friends for that bootless walking fuck, Spencer Pratt? Uhm...still not familiar? Well Heidi Montag is someone who tried her hand on acting, singing, and on Spencer Pratt's underpants and failed at them three miserably. Yes, she is that, and surprisingly she is popular.

So I've heard about the whole plastic surgery craze she's been into like months ago but I have never clearly seen the finished Heidi Montag product. Well this is how she looked like years before she decided she wanted to be perfect:

This is Heidi Montag.

While a very bad excuse for a celebrity. Perhaps also a bad take on Mattel's Barbie doll. Aside from the fact that she is not herself now and is an entirely different person, Heidi Montag had ten (10!!!!!!!) plastic surgeries from head to toe all performed right after the other. even crazier than Lady GaGa. As for me, let me first get over with the thought of having ten surgical procedures done on one human body all at the same time. :/

Tuesday, March 30, 2010

Manny Villar, a BIG lie?

As if it wasn't bad enough that Villar has been repeatedly asking that phrase, "nakaligo ka na ba sa dagat ng basura?", here comes yet another frenzied drop of cold proof how this sneaky presidential candidate has been masking his entire life with a classic down-and-out pauper story.

Just last night, it was all over the papers, television channels, and radio stations: "Manny Villar lied and used the death of his brother to reclaim sympathy from the voting crowd." And as much as I don't want to buy into this statement, a concrete evidence is always difficult to restrain. In fact, it has been validated, authenticated, and justified by no less than the National Statistics Office and the ever hopeful Noynoy Aquino - actively supported by his devoted band of sidekicks from the Liberal Party who are more likely than not the happiest of the bunch.

Now, the long-winded question "Naranasan mo na bang mamatayan ng katapid dahil wala kayong perang panggamot?" still remains the core of this discussion. Hard evidence showed that Villar's brother, Danny Villar, stayed and was taken care of at the FEU (Far Eastern University) Hospital which was Philippine's top hospital at that time, long before the establishment of the Makati Medical Center and St. Luke's Hospital. He died out of Cardiac and Respiratory Failure resulting from complications of Leukemia. As we all know, in the early 60's, there were no transplants and chemotherapy yet so regardless of social status or inherited wealth, patients of contracting leukemia still died out of the disease.

Upon Danny's death, his remains were conveyed and turned over to La Funeraria Paz, undeniably one of the expensive funeral houses built in the Philippines, if not the most expensive. If you have been there, you could declare how plush and first class the entire establishment is. And as far as I could remember, a single night of laying one's dead body in the funeral place would roughly cost you a sum not lower than 50 gran but could be higher than a hundred thousand, which of course will depend on the kind of room you get for deceased.

Aside from these claims which were soon established as real, the Transfer Certificate of Title (TCT number: 135396/3194) of a 560 sqaure meter property in the upper class San Rafael Village in Navotas was proven to be purchased by the Villars. This and the abovementioned controversy regarding the real facts about his brother's death were all aiding components that could lead to the downfall of Villar's ambition to win the hearts of people.

No wonder, with an average of almost 90% of voters falling in the D and E levels from the economic class, this is definitely what brought Villar to create such crafty shenanigan. I really don't know if I am in a position to criticize. My parents are good friends with Villar way back when he was still starting out in the political arena. But I think things have always been overrated by Villar - the commercials, the illustrated innocence from the faulty c-5 road project, the poverty of his family, and now the death of his brother.

Honestly, I have nothing against Manny Villar or how he might have lied about what he has been through in his younger age. I will always look up to people who may not have been given the bankrolls and the resources to start up with, yet still dug themselves their own opportunities that gave birth to their well-deserved success. And I don't know if this would sound believable but I see that person in Villar. But then again he crossed the line and maneuvered his way, and this has caused dismay to his followers and avid supporters; such a dire case of rejection could possibly root out from this. Though it might help, a presidential candidate DOES NOT necessarily need a winning story in the usual rags-to-riches fashion. What he needs is a good platform, a mind that encompasses all concerns of his country, a promise that exudes honesty. That is what our country needs, and definitely not another sob story to read.

The Philippines has long been bombarded with pretensions and I seriously think that it is the least that our country would ever choose to gulp in. For long years, we have been choked and drowned by the malicious intents and never-ending deceits all twisted to form the perfect corrupt and spiteful cross that is the PHILIPPINE POLITICS. What our country needs now is an honest and straight leader who will, although cliche, make us a better country. Now, had Villar went straight forward with his story, maybe, atleast, he could have topped the Facebook surveys. :)

Hanggang saan umabot ang P20 mo?


Isang hard pack ng 10's na Marlboro Menthol at dalawang Chocnut. Lovely.

Pero sana yung ganito nalang:

Odiba mas fulfilling na experience? TUGS, TUGS, TUGS, TUGS!
Jie Yeun Kim, let's parteeeey!

When TV stars cross the line

I have always been a fan of Gossip Girl and its clean-cut, high-end school-girl fashion, but since Leighton Meester and Taylor Momsen started to venture out for a music career, their wardrobe picks have also slumped down a great deal. Here are two pictures that stuck on my head:

I really don't know what has happened to Leighton Meester her royal highness but I just wish she never wore those pants. Aside from the fact that it looks like three elderly grandmothers died in that crap, it also looks like it had some really bad encounter with a league of angry butterflies. You know that this is not a very good choice because Michelle Trachtenberg is laughing in the backgound.


TAYLOR MOMSEN looks like this at sixteen.

When all my girl friends were sixteen, they were only starting to learn how to put one layer of cheap eye color on their crease. Taylor, on the other hand (aside from looking like a demented cocker spaniel) looks like she sew her own top out of a living room curtain, mugged a throng out of Joan Jett's eye makeup kit and decided that she wanted to be a raccoon all her life. I wonder what she will look like when she turns 20.

I guess that could be all. I just shared my part. I miss Gossip Girl. :\

[Photo credits: Splash News and Google Images]

Monday, March 29, 2010

5 Random Things About Me Today


5. For the entire week last week up to this very moment that I am pushing efforts to dismiss it off my tongue, I am still badly hung over from Miley Cyrus' When I look at you (theme song for her movie The Last Song). I sing it everyday all day, except on mornings where I belt out Good Morning Baltimore from Hairspray. I know what you're thinking. Isn't that so gay? UGH.

4. I'm not much of a watch junkie. I'm not really accustomed to wearing something that looks and feels bulky aside from accessories I usually wear on my left wrist. But just this morning I decided I want a new watch. Nooka x Mad Toy SLIMEBALL Sqwert Watch looks so inspiring I'm willing to forget about my night life just to have this.

3. I decided that I will not drink anything carbonated for today. And maybe I would like to stick to it for the following weeks. Depends.

2. If there is something I am incessantly salivating over right now, it would be Dairy Queen's Oreo Blizzard Ice Cream. The last time I happily held my hands on a large cup of Blizzard was roughly a year ago. Looking back, I just miss it more.

1. I want to write a book. Serious. I want to go out, study about how people act, get specific and make characters out of them. I still don't have a story on hand, but I'm thinking of something law-related. Something similar to what John Grisham writes. Or maybe about mysterious serial killers. I just love the rush that suspense books always give me. I don't know if this is just a momentary surge born out of boredom, but I hope I push through with this. Wish me luck! ;)

Yes, Pilipinas Got Talent!

Since I have been terribly gorged down by boredom, I decided to just stick my nose in front of the computer screen the entire day. And yes, I have tried it all - shabby Filipino movies in Cinema One, singing while in front of the electric fan, nibbling down a pack of smarties, crying in front of the mirror - all to no avail. So I guess this could be my last resort.

And voila! Turns out, this is definitely where I could find my happiness for the day! Now, people, brace yourselves as I show you the rarest of all signage that sucked up all my lethargy!

Tan tanana nana! HAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA. Oh dear heavens above, I have never EVER seen a banana flavored saging in my entire life! This has got me laughing for quite a long time! Kinabog ang "Pongkan 4 sale, 5 pesos per each"! HAHAHAHA. And just when I thought I have already found the funniest treasure of the day, I stumbled again on yet another slapstick signage on the tummy.

Akalain mo nga naman, may SM pala na ASIA OF MALL?? HAHAHAHA. This is definitely one of my favorites in my dear motherland! What most of us Filipinos have in common is our unparalleled sense of humor and it is one dominant talent that we use everywhere, sometimes even without really wanting to be funny. There is just so much out there to lift you up out of your downest days. I love the Philippines!

A nice starter for a Tuesday morning

At around 6:30am this morning I got up and realized I missed out on dinner last night. Since I usually don't have much appetite right after I wake up, I decided that I only drink coffee just to fill in my stomach, then maybe huff in a few cigarettes inside my room until I feel badly suffocated (which usually reminds me that my room has windows for ventilation), and just sit back as I wait for breakfast to land on the table.

Come 7:30am I sat for breakfast alone, since good old parentals went away for some sort of serious business, I assume. Just right under my chair parked our 3-year-old problem dog shih-tzu mix breed (with poodle, I think) which I oddly named Pocholo. I just love the way it sounds - Pocholo. My lips form into a stiff circular shape when I say it, and usually I like looking at myself in the mirror when I do it.

So I went on with my routine when this dog, who hasn't been washed (yes, washed, since at different points in his life, he looked like a rug, a furball, a cut-out from a couch interior, a floormat, or sometimes when I look at him straight into the eye, a stuffed toy in the form a big rat) started gnarling at me in his pitchy, annoying fashion, perhaps he was raising complains for famine. So I, being the generous and affectionate person that I am, filled his bowl with a handful of eggs and ground beef.

As I witnessed how he wolfed down the lot, he went around the house and landed backyard where he saw a half-open tub of abandoned laundry from which he started drawing his face closer to gulp in what he might have thought was water. So instead of drinking laundry soap I gave him real water. I don't know why but I felt excited.

You see, I miss having a pet dog. A fun, friendly, loving pet dog. After my shih-tzu died out of accidentally chewing overused batteries, I swore I would leave much time for me to grieve. She was my dearest, and I not in my wildest dreams rose a picture of her death without poise and grace- two things that she has always maintained except when she was constipated. I just thought maybe I could treat this other dog Pocholo the same way I treated her. Thought it was time for me to start a new relationship I have always longed for.

Just when I thought it's now time to lend him a space in my heart, this dog started running uncontrollably and crashed the kitchen door, swung himself around the trash bin and almost caused a minor typhoon, leaving major trails of plastic wrappers and empty cans all over the kitchen area. Then he started taking chunks out of my shoe box. As I stopped him from causing further damage, he saw clear sight of my gym shoes where he energetically vomited up the lot he ate. And then he ate it again. Wow. I have never seen him so happy. He discovered a perfect way to get twice as much mileage out of each meal. Wonderful.

Without question, I dropped off the thought of liking him. Sure I miss having a pet, but not a problem pet who ruminates on interiors and throws up on your living room mat without thoughts of mercy.

I thought about taking a shower, but I got badly frozen in bed and I don't feel like being touched by water. So I went back to the boob tube and started surfing for better tv shows. In no time, I fell asleep, and I forgot to ask somebody to wake me up before 10am.

As I dreamt of New York, a trench coat, and newly highlighted hair to boot, I felt a warm slab of something just below my ankles that felt like it has been lathered with a generous amount of lubricant. It was Pocholo. I don't know if he was asking for food again or he just wants to surprise me with a dead rat clutched under his paws but I ignored him.

I felt the tongue again, fresh from dog barf and I have never been annoyed that much. I cast a quick view on the clock, and alas, it was 10am. This dog, amidst his wild acts and destructive nature, never fails to be a consistent alarm clock.

At 10am, just a couple of hours before I was unusually erupted, disgusted, and irritated by my dog's unruly behavior, he was again below my feet, trying to win my attention as he motioned his tongue from my ankle down my feet. I smiled. It touched me in some sort of a strange way, it felt good I didn't hold it back.

I just love dogs. All of them dogs. After all, Pocholo is still a dog. A psychotic, deranged mutt who always hightens-up-my-blood-pressure-from-time-to-time kind of dog. Honestly, I don't know if I could love him the way I loved Wanda, and from right here I could already smell a love-hate relationship between the both of us. But the smallest of the sweet things that dogs do never fail to melt my heart. And this time this dog has lifted up my day to a different light. So maybe, just maybe, I could still give Pocholo another chance. :)

Where art thou Crazy Earthlings?

Not that I don't miss my other friends but if there are two people whom I completely long for more than anyone else right now, it would definitely be these two friends of mine: Russell and Mia.

For starters, I haven't seen Mia for nearly half a year now since she was convicted with the child molestation case that sentenced her to solitary confinement all her life, if I'm not so mistaken. And sadly, Russell is locked up in incarceration at the remote villas up in the mountains where she gathered rice grains, corn stalks, and even bird poo to feed her pet kalabaw. I don't even know what kalabaws really eat but that's what I assumed anyway so I guess that could be possible right?

Anyway, kidding aside! Hahaha. I just miss them so badly it really makes me happy that I'm making fun of them. LOL.

On a rather serious note, Mia has finally found a job in Manila roughly a year ago. And to date she still resides in south area of Manila where obviously is a lot of steps, miles, oceans away from here. She threw a visit a couple of months ago, but that wasn't enough to fill in the long months of absence. Wish she could give us a visit again. :'(

Russell, on the other hand, is just around the corner. But I have long came at peace with the fact that Russell is, well, a super prized possession to her parents and is not just being let out without reason. Guess this serves enough reason why I rarely see her. :(

I miss our never-ending laughtrips! Can somebody make it really possible that I see both of you right now?? I miss you both, it's beyond words! :'(

Sunday, March 28, 2010

Drunk F/Phase


For the past months of this year and the entire year last year, majority of what I could efficiently remember during time spans between 7pm to around midnight were awfully blur. And in some serious cases I could not even remember anything. As in zilch. Nada. None.

Obviously, this has rooted out when I found close affection with the likes of tequila, rhum, vodka and premium strength that I finally succumbed to what they call, well, in layman's term, party everyday - the wackiest and the craziest phase of my life where I met the guts and learned how to stomach frog legs, ask a takatak boy to buy me an entire country to help me build a nation, and command a friend to suck blood from my bleeding finger (to which she gladly said yes). And trust me, those weren't even my worst case scenario.

There might be countless of times when I act like one miserably hopeless nut perhaps because I don't like what I'm wearing, is being asked to go home early, or have missed out on my favorite prime time tv show, but other than that I could not anymore place myself anywhere between miserable and permanently depressed. I love the feeling of being uncontrollably free - set aside all worries and tension and just drink the night away. I am not miserable. Drinking over misery is pathetic and immature, but when your problems are so major that you just have to gulp it all down your liver, you only do that at HOME and not on public areas, bars, and definitely not on school just like I did, hence you are getting yourself into serious trouble.

However, since I technically do not have an iron liver, I have resorted to putting myself into probation. Up to this day, I remain sturdy with my oath that I will not drink any alcoholic drink of any sort for a good one month. Serves enough reason why I have been distancing away from my friends for the prior weeks. I just want to feel clean, let all toxins, free radicals, and booze get flushed away in my system until I, again, feel sacred enough to start on yet another life phase. I'm not really saying goodbye to drinking but I'll have it in moderation this time. God knows how much I DO NOT want another February 2010 episode in my life where I spoke a valley-girl accent and nearly had 20 trips to the bathroom in one night. Luckily, I have already gone over that page.

For three weeks in a row, I was all water, iced tea, and orange juice and I know I am worthy of all applause and noisy hear-hear's from everyone who witnessed my flipped out drinking tactics. Besides I got so tired of getting drunk and feeling wasted; finally I have found another pseudo sister in the form of rice toppings and sweet treats. Guess this will be another phase in excess. Wish me luck!

Bringing Sexy Back to PI


(Photo by Magic Liwanag. Grabbed from

Justin Timberlake finally accessed Philippine territories last week and this glossy image gave me an ecstatic blast of skin erection everywhere in my entire body (and by that I meant goosebumps). Yesss! This is something to take very seriously. When was the last time I blew one's stack, wanted to hit off the deep end of an ocean, and felt like missing out on a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity? That was when Beyonce went here, and I knew I couldn't be there.

This is just one of the saddest days of my life. She's Britney Spears' ex-boyfriend, haven't you heard???

Friday, March 26, 2010

Alcohol Kills


...spiders and cockroaches, that is.

Yes, proven and tested. Just this morning, I spritzed old-age rhum all over them until a shaky, trembling motion of their feet signaled bitter defeat. It was a success. I killed them.

Now you might wonder what has encouraged circumstance that I came across another close encounter with these loathsome creatures. Who doesn't really have an experience to share? Every living teenager cast away from all posh and plush environment for an average of three weeks would have close encounters with insects, bugs, spiders, and all them icky creatures of this world, most especially if you're now considered a certified jailbird at home. With an everyday routine of breakfast in bed, lunch meal on top of my desk, and dinner on my lap while in front of the television screen, what else is there to wonder why creatures like these find peace and prosperity inside my small abode. In fact, I'm surprised I haven't seen rats come along.

As I stretched my legs after a tiresome contend with the pests, I realized I woke up in a mess. My room, indeed, looks like I cartwheeled all over the place, pulled off my entire closet for a run-through check of my garments, or had Oscar the Grouch and a giant lot of his posse occupy my entire room space for a day. It was complete disaster. Maybe that's why I don't feel like sleeping in my room for the past few days.

Since my mom has always nagged me about not-being-so-resposnsible-for-always-leaving-my-room-in-a-mess, I finally decided to grip my fingers on the broom. Besides, I think I shall take hold of this one now. I owe it to our househelpers all these years and I'm sure they deserve a break from this. So there I went sweeping my entire room, folding and hanging clothes in my closet, and spritzing sanitizer all over the corners. It was a relief. I always frowned upon dirt but I always cried about having to clean up a mess. I'm not really a fan of getting down there and having to stretch down the floor to sweep, because I thought it would be too exhausting. Well actually, it was, but I had fun. I guess that's what really counts.

I know it's quite stupid to write something so long about cleaning up your own mess in your own room, and I'm not really making this a big deal. I don't know, it just sounds fulfilling to me. Maybe because it's another step for me that opens me up to responsibility. Don't get me wrong though, this is not the first time I did a house chore. I tried all of them already - cleaning up, washing dishes, ironing clothes, all sorts! It's fun, it's tiresome, sometimes even messy, but I just love the feeling it gives me.

I think this is something really therapeutic for me - getting up, stretching down, doing something you could have asked somebody else to do but you did it all by yourself instead. I love it. It's a fun and productive way of killing time and working out. It could also double as an exercise routine! Maybe I'll be doing this again for the following days. Besides, nothing ever beats the feeling of seeing icky creatures spaz out on their feet and freeze until they die. ;)

Blogging Again

The science of Physics recognizes two kinds of inertia - both of which could actually be related to my own dealing with procrastination. First law states, "Standing objects tend to remain stationary.", whereas the second law states, "Moving objects tend to stay in motion.". Right now, I'm more affected with the first law.

For the past few weeks, I've been getting this momentary itch to write down a blog entry and try to at least make it feel fulfilling for me to start something that I've planned. I had this super outdated blog I never had the chance to maintain, not because I was time deprived but because I just didn't feel like updating it. And the last time I checked on my old blog, I realized my last post entry was when I was extremely agitated seeing the trailer of New Moon. In plain terms, I did not hold on to it. It's the simplest of things but I didn't attach to it. I deleted the blog anyway.

I really don't think it's quite encouraging to jump-off my first blog post with this, but seriously I'm really having problems committing myself into things. To date, the last thing I remember committing myself into was a three-day skin peeling regimen, a fad which ran all over my group of friends, where I had to lather peeling oil all over my body for a good three day routine. It was a systematic plan. And it was messy. But I still had my head on it. Come third day, I got tired. I wormed out. I was too chicken shit to even stick up on it. And I was itching all over my body, so I withdrew.

This is me lately - a flagging, inattentive, procrastinating lazyboy who sits back comfortably on a soft couch. Eyes glued on TV. Bag of chips on hand. I am not always in a good mood to commit on to anything. I pick up a thought, day-dream about it, decide it is indeed a good idea, find faults about it, and when I finally think it's not worth the try, I just cop it off my head. And how dare I even ask for a love life at this moment.

Truth is, this is not me. This is not really me, and I know it. Maybe it's the sleeplessness. Maybe it's stress. Maybe it's the devil sucking away all of my energy. Or's just me. Yeah I guess it's really me. I feel like I don't have anything to hold on to, like an inspiration or something overwhelming. Way back I even get inspired with the smallest of things, even on lousy mainstream songs. And I just miss the feeling of being productive and having something to do aside from partying, and drinking, and spending time looking at myself in the mirror where three seconds after I walk past my reflection I realize it's been a steady hour and a half spent on my pore-to-pore, meditative, face study, and I feel like it's just all worthless.

It somehow worries me. I don't like seeing celebrities flashing their self-earned cars and having their hulky mansions with the most recherché of interiors being published in glossy magazines - front page if you must mind. And they're like, what, 17, 19 years of young, fresh-blooded age?? It's a big thrust of whirlwind kick in the face for a 19 year-old student like me who thrives a rather dependent life on his parents. Not like I feel bad about it nor am I envious but I thought maybe I could work my way out of my sit-back-and-relax way of living. I couldn't get anywhere without standing up and doing something. Now, this is me saying these words with the benefit of the intellect and actually, this is how I like myself thinking.

I really don't know what has again gotten into my head this time - to shift gears and start doing something. And from these thoughts, I will be making decisions, and right now I have decided I must get my ass off the couch, do something worthy of my time, and stop wolfing down on chips and ice cream because there is no way I'd like to get back to my old (read: healthy) shape.

As for me, I'm tired of watching life go by as a spectator doing the wave in the stands. I don't want to be another wasted youngster taken over the pull of alcohol, partying, dressing up, and having seen. It's a teenage thing I should have gotten over with in high school, not be dealing with in college. I decided that I must not limit my committing power to peeling and holding on to a mirror. I realized it's not a win-win thing for me. I'm still young and might as well take advantage of it.

As what Dr. Robert Schuller has always said, "Beginning is half done!". I'm half done. I have already begun. As to my blog, this is my first entry! This is a beginning. And I swear I'm gonna hold on to this. ;)

Yours Truly,
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